He's here! :)

Baby boy is finally here and I couldn't be happier. I should be sleeping but my heart is just so full it could burst. I love how being a mom means your heart can grow exponentially with each child. It really is a miracle!  I'll share his birth story later but just wanted to share how grateful I am to have him here, happy and healthy. He is perfect and has the softest newborn hair and chubbiest squishy cheeks. He's in the nursery now so I can "rest" but seeing as how that's working out (lol) I should probably just get him now ;)

Good night, world!

Elina, you will be the death of me!

Holy shit balls tonight SUCKED.  Sorry, excuse my language but Elina almost put me into early labor tonight. I am seriously the worst and most impatient mom alive. I almost killed Elina tonight because her cry gets under my skin and makes my blood boil, literally. I read the girls books and sent them to bed like usual and started to clean and do some laundry. Went into to their room and noticed that Talanoa was awake (probably because she napped). Anyhow, long story short Talanoa started fussing for me to stay with her but because I was doing chores I kept saying no. She ended crying and woke up her sister and that is where all hell broke loose. 

Elina half woke up and started crying and wouldn't stop. I tried to console her but I couldn't understand what she wanted so her crying got louder and louder which made me angrier and angrier. I ended up spanking her which, of course, just made things worse. By this point her cries are OUT OF CONTROL. You'd think someone threw her off a damn balcony or broke her arm. That's how ridiculously loud and annoying her cry was! Anyways, Vili came in frustrated because I was yelling and being crazy and because he's trying to sleep for work (has to wake up at midnight to leave) but only made things a million times worse. I yelled at him to leave then continued to threaten and scream at Elina to shut the hell up. Who says that to their kid? Took over half an hour to get her to calm down. I'm surprised she is still alive. 

I wanted to kill her!!! Seriously guys, I know I sound crazy but I don't know what to do. When she cries I just get angry. At least 95% of the time I get angry instead of motherly and concerned and that is not normal. I cannot handle her cry! I need to figure something out or I will for sure end up in jail. 

Sincerely,

Worst Mom in the Universe 

Update #2 on Baby Boy

Waiting to see the specialist for the past week has felt like an eternity but today was the big day.  My ever-so-thoughtful husband decided to take the day off so that I wouldn't have to stress about anything and so he could be with me at the appointment.  I just love him!

Anyhow, things with baby boy are looking great!  My appointment today was with a perinatologist (doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies, basically) at Utah Valley Hospital.  The doctor I saw today was amazing!!!  Have you ever fallen in love with someone instantly?  That's how I felt about this doctor.  She gave off such positive vibes that it was hard not to be hopeful around her.  Enough about me loving this doctor and back to baby's update.

We got to see baby via ultrasound today and he is growing just fine and is measuring a little big just like his sisters.  Got a vaginal ultrasound as well to check out my placenta placement and to see how my vasa previa was looking.  Based on the ultrasound they did today, I don't have any signs of vasa previa!  Exact opposite of what I was told in my vaginal ultrasound last week.  The doctor found ZERO blood vessels/umbilical cord in the way of the birthing canal.  It's a miracle and such a huge huge relief!  My placenta is still low (about 1cm away from my cervix) which is not ideal but it means that I can still try to give birth vaginally.  If I start bleeding during labor then they will just perform an emergency C-Section but baby doesn't have to be born premie!!!  Who knew that the ability to feel contractions and having my water break would bring me such happiness?!  Lol.  I cried so many happy and grateful tears today and I will probably be crying about it still when baby boy gets here!  I have to go back for a follow-up in four weeks but the doctor is hopeful that things will remain positive.

Have you ever felt like you could literally feel the Lord's hand in your life?  This is definitely one of those times for me!  In the past few weeks I have felt His presence so close and have felt so reassured in all the good and bad that has been happening in my life.  I feel so blessed!  Thank you for all your prayers and reassuring texts.  It has meant the world to me!

Update on Baby Boy

At my 20 week ultrasound I found out that I had a low lying placenta and that I would need to have follow-up ultrasounds to check up on it. I was told and read online that 90% of the time the placenta will move up and out of the way of the birth canal making vaginal birth very likely still. Well, I am 28 weeks now and I went back in today for a follow-up ultrasound. Unfortunately, it was not good news.

I have a rare condition called vasa previa which in a very brief and simple description means that there are blood vessels (part of baby's umbilical cord) that are blocking the birth canal making my pregnancy high risk. What makes this so high risk is that those blood vessels could rupture at any time which is very dangerous for baby boy :(  This doesn't affect baby's physical development in any way. The danger comes during labor and delivery. Here's a pic to explain it a little better. 

I have to go see a specialist on Tuesday where they will run some more tests to see exactly what we're dealing with and what we need to do from here on out. From what I read online (I know I shouldn't have googled it but I couldn't help myself) it looks like I'm very unlucky because this happens in 1/3,000 pregnancies. I'm also very lucky at the same time to have been diagnosed early so that baby and I can be monitored. Usually, no early detection of this results in the loss of the baby's life because of how quickly they lose blood and oxygen if a rupture occurred. 

It looks like chances of me being put on bed rest are very likely and I will most likely have to have an early C-Secrion scheduled somewhere around 35 weeks to avoid any premature rupturing that would endanger baby. Again, this is all from what I read online so nothing is set in stone until I hear from the specialist. Only thing for sure now is that I haven't spotted at all yet (good sign) and that I've been put on pelvic bed rest aka "no sex" starting today. My poor husband! He's sick with worry so I'm sure he could care less but still, it's gonna be a long wait!

Saying I'm terrified about this whole ordeal would be a huge understatement!  I have been crying with worry all day thinking of the worst case scenarios but I know I have to put my trust in the Lord. So far Vili and I haven't told anyone (not even our parents or siblings) because we want to hear from the specialist first and then go from there.  I figured I'd write on here because I can't sleep and no one reads this anyway.  I'll post an update as soon as I see the specialist. If you are accidentally reading this, pray for me and baby boy please!  

Life as of Late

Lots going on here in the Samani household lately!  Here's sort of what we've been up to these past few months.

Pregnancy:
Our 3rd baby is on his way!  A little sooner than planned but we're excited nonetheless. It's so funny how much you forget in between pregnancies until you feel that nausea creep up again and never-ending exhaustion that returns.  This pregnancy I would say has been my hardest of the three.  The first trimester was HELL.  I'm not even really sure how Elina and Talanoa are still alive because all I remember doing was sleeping and throwing up 90% of everyday.  I even had to get an IV one day because I couldn't hold anything down for days.  I cried like a baby because I was starving and my sister in law, Elisha, thought I had a miscarriage.  That's how hungry I was!  LOL!

The second trimester is always the best but that came and left so fast I barely even blinked.  Now, in my third trimester (28 weeks now) I am so extremely exhausted all the time that I could cry.  I have hit the insomnia stage where I can't get any rest at night for too many reasons (too hot, heartburn, mind is racing, kids waking up, etc).  If it's not one thing it's another so I am always on edge because of how tired I am.  Oh, and I can't stop eating.  I eat anything and everything.  I eat out of boredom, people!

Also, my anti-socialism is at an all time high right now.  I am too exhausted all the time to keep up with friends and even family.  I need to get my act together!

Work:
I still work at doTERRA every Saturday which I'm not sure will last long after I have this baby.  Last week was doTERRA's huge yearly convention up in Salt Lake and I worked two 8 hour days and about died.  It was held at the Salt Palace and Convention Center so all the walking I did was giving me nonstop Braxton Hicks.  Proof that I never exercise!  Lol.

Vili lost his job at Provo Canyon School in August which has turned out to be a huge blessing for our family in so many ways.  The day he called me to tell me he lost his job I wasn't too shocked because I knew he had not been unhappy there for awhile now.  I knelt down and prayed before he got home for patience and understanding so that I wouldn't be angry with him.  Let's be real....the timing could not be worse with a baby on the way but I really think that prayer made all the difference in the world.

It took about a month of Vili applying for jobs left and right for him to land a job a great with Big D Construction, a job that he actually wants to pursue and hopefully turn into a career.  Score!  When he landed the job we both cried, well mostly me (lol), because of how blessed we have both felt during this small trial.  I really have gained a testimony of enduring trials with a positive attitude.  Vili's hours at Big D have been long and crazy and we might finally be seeing the end of our government assistant days (insert dancing emoji here) and I couldn't be happier. 

Pre-School aka "My Sanity Pill":
Both girls got into the Headstart Preschool while Vili was unemployed.  Another HUGE blessing that came from him losing his job.  They both love it!  Still some separation anxiety when they get dropped off but they are all smiles when I pick them up.  They go from 12-3:30pm and this part of my day is probably the only thing keeping me sane right about now.  I used to try to be super mom and do tons of stuff around the house while they were gone but now I just focus on eating a good hearty lunch and taking a long nap.  It helps to keep momzilla far away and also gives me the energy I need to get dinner ready and do the nightly routine with the girls since Vili's work schedule is so hectic.

Elina got switched to a new class this week last week so that her and Talanoa could both start at 12pm (Elina was starting at 12:30pm which SUCKED....for me anyway) and she's been having a tough time adjusting to new teachers and friends but we take it one day at a time.

Co-Sleeping:
Is finally over!!!  I can't take all the credit for this because it was mostly Vili's doing.  This was another huge blessing of his month long employment search.  One night he finally decided that we needed to cold-turkey it and just put them in their room.  It has not been the easiest transition for them or me but now I have space in my bed for my big prego belly and my biggest baby, Vili.  Ha!

To help ease the girls into their rooms we are being forced to do a nightly routine with them to give them structure and it's been working.  I am so anti-structure because I'm too lazy but they need it.  When we get home from school they usually play with friends for an hour or so until it's time for dinner. After dinner they have some free time to color, watch a movie, or play then we give them a bath.  After bath it's family prayer then story time.  They each get to pick a book and we read to them in bed.  Most nights we wait for them to fall asleep before leaving their room but these past few nights they've put themselves to bed.  Doubt that will last but I'll enjoy it while it does.

Neighbors:
Elina and Talanoa have been playing with our neighbor friends almost every day since the summer started.  We have lived here for 3 years and have never really gotten to know any neighbors because we're antisocial and our families are so close by but this has been such a huge blessing lately.  There's a bunch of little girls their age that they play in the courtyard with almost everyday.  We've gotten to know the Slater's really well because of it and they happen to have two girls, Abby and Lexi, who are the same ages as Elina and Talanoa.  It's been a great experience for us and especially the girls. 

When It Rains, It Pours

Learning to appreciate life's trials has never been my strong suit. Thankfully, this time has been different. Life has been rough for our little family this past week and it just keeps on coming. 

I'm just grateful to see the Lord's hand in my life even through our trials. I see many small and simple blessings amidst the storm and I'm grateful. Grateful for many things but most importantly the ability to see far past these trials with my eternal glasses on. Sometimes I take them off and complain and get stressed but when they are on I know that everything will be ok. 

Last Sunday we taught our class about David and Goliath. The lesson talked about how we can view problems as stepping stones or stumbling blocks depending on our attitude. Funny how these lessons sometimes seem more geared toward me than to my primary class. Anyhow, just trying to stay positive and remember that everything happens for a reason. 

The hills are alive....

At Rock Canyon Park where I died ugly at my first Utah Valley Fit Mamas workout.  Lol.  Running up those hills were dreadful and the saddest part is that we ran the smallest hills there!  Lol.  We threw in some push ups and abs in between the hill sprints and called it a day.

The weather was goooorgeous today so the kiddies ran wild while we worked out then we headed to Dom's.  The kids played in the sun for hours while we busied ourselves making trek buckets for Dom's YW only to find out the due date was next Thursday not today!  We are definitely sisters!  Lol.  The padded buckets turned out so great though and I can't wait to make mine :)  Oh yeah, Vili and I got called to be a Ma and Pa for our stake youth trek in Wyoming this upcoming June.  I'm always in the primary, nursery, or relief society so I don't get much time to interact with the youth in our ward.  I'm so excited for this opportunity and the chance I have to get to know our youth better.

Today was a great day!

Sunday Inspiration

During our relief society lesson I had a strong impression in my mind that my family needs to be more active in our ward activities.  It had nothing to do with the actual lesson but my mind was wandering with the different comments being given and that is what stuck with me.  It was our ward conference weekend and there is so much we missed out on because we were either too lazy or just too lazy.  That's really what it comes down to.  I can probably count on one hand the ward activities we attend together as a family on any given year but hopefully that will change.  When we got home I told Vili my thoughts during our lesson and he said a similar thought crossed his mind during his lesson in priesthood.  Coincidence?  I think not!  We decided that we will make more of an effort to attend all the ward activities, whether we want to or not, so that we can supportive of our amazing ward and leaders.

Fitness 101

I probably should have titled this blog post Fitness -101 because I think that might be more accurate.  Lol!  2014 marks the first year that I have ever included fitness into my yearly goals.  Anyone who knows me knows that working out is definitely not my forte.  The closest thing to physical fitness that I've done is dancing and I stopped doing that when I was pregnant with Elina way back in 2009.  Depressing!  Since then I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters and my body has been not so blessed with lots of changes!  I'm sure everyone out there is thinking, "Is this girl serious?  She's still skinny!" but I assure you I am just "skinny fat" and looks can be very deceiving.  Anyhow, this year I've decided it's time for me to get fit!  I want to be healthy in a aspects of the word: physically, mentally, and most importantly, spiritually.

The more I learn about health and fitness, the deeper my knowledge is about how much our Heavenly Father loves us.  He gave us the Word of Wisdom because he knew that one day we would live in a world where diseases are rampant due to unhealthy lifestyles.  I am gaining a testimony of how important our physical bodies are to our mortal experience here on Earth and I'm finally starting to realize how much our agency with regards to health and fitness affects our everyday lives.  I am learning how amazing our bodies are and how adaptive they can become to good and bad habits.  It really just amazes me!

One of the main reasons I'm doing this is because I want to learn to love myself.  Like truly love myself, inside and out.  I want to be able to teach my kids to love themselves and appreciate the bodies they have been given and to treat them well.  What better way to lead than by example, right?  I so wish that was easier said than done!  I'm sure this will be the most mentally challenging thing I have ever done but I am excited and look forward to getting that bikini body that will look just as amazing under modest clothing ;)  Lol!