My Sweet Elina

Elina, my three year old daughter, bore her testimony today in sacrament meeting all on her own doing and unbeknownst to us until we heard her sweet voice over the microphone. Can I just say that there is nothing sweeter than hearing and seeing  my children embrace the gospel despite my many shortcomings as a Mom?  It makes me think that maybe I am doing something right. 

Elina walked over to Grandma and Papa's bench like she usually does near the end of sacrament meeting where we assumed she was sitting quietly. Next thing I know she is up at the pulpit with her Aunty Talanoa because she asked to go up there. While at the pulpit she mumbled a few inaudible sentences and got too shy to continue but her willingness to even get up there amazes me! I'm too afraid to get up there! Lol. Maybe this can be motivation for me in the future ;) After sacrament I told her she did such a great job up there and she said, "Oh, you're welcome Mommy! I bear my testimony!" I didn't even know she knew the word testimony.  I'm sure she doesn't know what it means but she's making connections and that's all that matters to me. 

Anyhow, I am so grateful for this child of mine who I know is the oldest for a reason. Elina, I love you so much and you are such a sweet reminder of how much our Father in Heaven loves us!  May you continue to strengthen your testimony and willingness to share it with others as the years go on. 

P.S. As soon as Talanoa saw her sister at the pulpit she went up and stood right next to her. Maybe they're ready for some testimony based FHE's! 

Grandma Status at 26!

I just started working on the flex schedule at the doTerra call center. Why another oncall job you ask? Flexibility. I like the option of staying home when I want and I don't like leaving my kids with babysitters for long periods of time. I like my job there so far but would like to eventually get a real job. Lol!

Anyhow, this job makes me feel ancient. Five years of marriage, a Bachelor's degree, and two children seem to really date a person here in College Town, USA. I guess I never really noticed because I'm never around college students these days other than my family members. When I hear people flirting or see people trying to be extra cute it makes me feel really old! I just have to say that I'm glad I am married and out of that scene.  

My Perfectly Imperfect Life

My life is far from perfect.  Here's a glimpse of life in our shoes as of late:

My kids, yes plural, sleep in our bed still. Crib? What's that? Their playpen? Storage since they were born. They don't have any schedules and sometimes sleep at midnight if we let them. I am horrible at disciplining them so they act out in public and I want to die of embarrassment sometimes.  They repeat bad words and phrases kids ears should not hear. 

We are poor. We are on every government program you can think of but are slowly getting kicked off all of them because we are a hair over the income limit which is good and bad for us.  My husband works full time and I work on-call. You'd think that we would make enough to support ourselves but we don't. If we get kicked off of Medicaid my children will not have any health insurance because we can't afford what is offered through my husband's job. 

What else? I'm sure I could go on and on but you get it. My life isn't perfect. No one's life is. We all face different trials in life whether they be marital, educational, spiritual, physical, etc. As imperfect as my life is, I wouldn't trade it for the world, my basket of problems included. 

We taught a lesson in my CTR 10/11 class yesterday that talked about enduring adversity and I learned something. The Lord promises us that all adversity and trials are for our betterment and if we endure them WELL, we will be blessed. I'm working on the "enduring it well" part because I'm a worrier/complainer. Gotta have more faith! 

Sarcasm: A Form of Evil Speaking

I read an ensign article that really touched me. It's entitled "No Corrupt Communication".  It really hit home because I come from an overly-sarcastic family. We speak sarcasm. Fluently. Constantly. We know it all too well.  If I am to be 100% honest I used to think it was funny until I'm seeing its real effects. So much of this article rings true and it saddens me to hear how huge of a negative impact sarcasm has had on myself and those around me.  

Why are we so sarcastic anyway? Well, I think my family uses it to mask our emotions so we don't have to deal with them. We have a lot of emotional pain we swept under the rug having to do with my parents divorce, my stepdad, my dad leaving us, etc.  It all adds up little by little to an overwhelming amount.  It's extremely painful to deal with and confront so I think we've used sarcasm as a tool to cover it all up. That's my opinion anyway. Doesn't help that Tongans are really sarcastic in general. Probably because they don't like to show emotions either. (Huge generalization but it's my blog, my opinion.)

I will be the first to admit that I am GUILTY regarding all things sarcasm.  I have used sarcasm to avoid my emotions and hurt others, sometimes unintentionally because of how often I use it, without noticing most times.  It's funny if you're on the "dishing it out" end of it but hurtful and mean when you're at the other end. I know because I've been on both ends. 

I don't like how it feels and I don't want to continue this in my own family. I want to teach my kids to speak up when they're hurt, jealous, or embarrassed and talk openly about their feelings, good and bad. I want a home that is free of judgement and criticism.  This article is a great reminder that I can be better.  I know it won't happen overnight but I will do my best!  Especially for my kids!  

I do this way too often....

I get so behind on my blog that I just want to give up or skip a big chunk of our lives.  Lol!  Summer has been so fun that blogging about it seems like a chore!  I have 3 months worth of summer things to blog about and I'm dreading it.  Things I can't leave out like my brother graduating high school, my other brother going on a mission, family camp, ward camp, potty training Talanoa, etc!  Whyyyyy do I let myself get so behind?!

But seriously, I have a problem.  I have to blog chronologically and it is so annoying!  I want to blog about things going on right now but can't because it won't be in order.  Then I start forgetting to write about the little sweet things my kids do and say on a daily basis because I'm so focused on catching up with the bigger things from months ago.  I know, I probably sound crazy right now.  Lol

Lots to be Grateful For

Vili and I started our new calling as teachers of the Valiant 10 & 11 class. Today was our 2nd Sunday and I love it! We have a great class of about 10-12 kids (80% boys) and they actually participate! Grateful for them and for my husband who actually sits down to prepare lessons with me during the week.  Also grateful that my daughters have miraculously gone to nursery with no whining or complaints. Mini miracle! 

I got to go to relief society for the first time in over a year today. It felt so good to be in there. KD Fonohema bore her testimony and made us all cry. She talked about how she feels inadequate raising her boys in the gospel while their dad is inactive. It really touched me. Made me realize how strong she is and how blessed her family will be for her diligence. 

It also made me more grateful for my loving husband who is not perfect and who I take for granted a lot. He is an amazing dad and a great priesthood holder which I tend to forget. I don't give him enough credit for all he does. Hun if you're reading this, I love you and I'll be better :) 

Vampire Diaries

I hate starting a new tv series because I know I'll get addicted and it starts the domino effect. The bad kind. Mommy stays up late watching one too many episodes, wakes up early very tired and cranky, is a bad mom all day, and repeat until I finish all the episodes. 

Why do I do this to myself and my poor kids? Lol!

I love/hate you vampire diaries! Hurry and finish so I can get back to being a good, well-rested-non-cranky Mom! Thank goodness there's only 3 seasons on Netflix! 

Don't ask me why I have no self control when it comes to tv shows. I'm just nosey and need to know what happens. Even with horrible shows like Gossip Girl! Grey's is on a whole nother level! It still is one of my favorites. I blame Elisha and Josie! Lol