Elina, you will be the death of me!

Holy shit balls tonight SUCKED.  Sorry, excuse my language but Elina almost put me into early labor tonight. I am seriously the worst and most impatient mom alive. I almost killed Elina tonight because her cry gets under my skin and makes my blood boil, literally. I read the girls books and sent them to bed like usual and started to clean and do some laundry. Went into to their room and noticed that Talanoa was awake (probably because she napped). Anyhow, long story short Talanoa started fussing for me to stay with her but because I was doing chores I kept saying no. She ended crying and woke up her sister and that is where all hell broke loose. 

Elina half woke up and started crying and wouldn't stop. I tried to console her but I couldn't understand what she wanted so her crying got louder and louder which made me angrier and angrier. I ended up spanking her which, of course, just made things worse. By this point her cries are OUT OF CONTROL. You'd think someone threw her off a damn balcony or broke her arm. That's how ridiculously loud and annoying her cry was! Anyways, Vili came in frustrated because I was yelling and being crazy and because he's trying to sleep for work (has to wake up at midnight to leave) but only made things a million times worse. I yelled at him to leave then continued to threaten and scream at Elina to shut the hell up. Who says that to their kid? Took over half an hour to get her to calm down. I'm surprised she is still alive. 

I wanted to kill her!!! Seriously guys, I know I sound crazy but I don't know what to do. When she cries I just get angry. At least 95% of the time I get angry instead of motherly and concerned and that is not normal. I cannot handle her cry! I need to figure something out or I will for sure end up in jail. 

Sincerely,

Worst Mom in the Universe